“We have clearance, Clarence. Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?”

Flight back stateside last night = airplane movie time. What is better than sitting in economy for 8 and a half hours next to an oversized dude that snores watching bad movies on a 2 and a half inch screen? Ok, a lot of things. Complain as I do, I still really enjoy the inflight movie experience. I am totally that annoying person who gets overly involved in her movie of choice and will laugh/cry/feel right along with the characters…which manifests as me being awkwardly loud and getting dirty looks from everyone in front of me.

I flew United, so the choice was not nearly as extensive as say the new Virgin Atlantic/British Airways entertainment systems – 7 movie channels, 2 TV channels, not flatscreen – but it was nice to avoid the paradox of plenty. I had just enough to watch to keep me occupied, but I didn’t have to make the life or death choice of watching Tropic Thunder, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, or Atonement. I watched Nights in Rodanthe, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and Death Race (in that order). If I had gotten some sci-fi action in there, I would have all of my genre bases covered.

Nights in Rodanthe was decent. It wasn’t as earth-shatteringly beautiful and romantic as the previews suggested it would be, so going in with Notebook-esque expectations, you’ll be disappointed. I’m sure that the book was better. Although it was amazingly predictable, it was strangely heart wrenching, and I did find myself tearing up…something about unrequited love just turns me into a blubbering adolescent girl. The aforementioned oversized dude seemed to take notice of this, as he offered me his dinner salad in broken English. Random kindess from a stranger only made me more teary…until he pulled out a Russian porno mag and I became incredibly creeped out. His 30 minute bathroom break that ensued was much appreciated. (Idk if the United Mile High Club has ever seen that kind of (solo) action)

Vicky Cristina Barcelona was one of the best movies that I have seen in awhile. I may be biased because I am essentially in love with Penelope Cruz; she is smoking hot. She makes me reconsider the whole “having-sex-with-guys” thing. Jk. But seriously. If I kissed that girl, I would like it. The movie was romantic, and dramatic, and comical…I really loved Scarlett Johansson’s character and her dynamic with Javier Bardem. Barcelona, both as a backdrop and as a major plot element was entrancing, and the Spanish accents/impassioned exchanges between Cruz and Bardem forever switching between Spanish and English literally made me melt. Probably better in the privacy of your own home with your lovah than sitting on a plane next to superhorny oversized foreign dude. Just a thought.

Death Race…I cannot get into. I initially watched the last 3 minutes while flipping around channels after VCB finished, and in that three minutes the entire plot was revealed. I still subjected myself to watching it in its entirity (I mean, even with my newfound love for Penelope Cruz I could not pass up the chance to watch Jason Statham in action…check out his back!) All backs aside, this movie reached new levels of ridiculous. If it was supposed to be ironic/a comment on the insane level that reality television has gotten to, it is borederline substantive. But it wasn’t. I LOVE car movies. Blues Brothers, Cars, Gone in 60 Seconds, Mad Max, Wanted…I have never been so excited for the release of a movie as I am about Fast and Furious (2009). But this one tanked…sorry.

Too bad Airplane wasn’t showing.

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