(419): just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back…and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
(904): the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
(402): I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
(201): I’m smoking weed out of a trumpet
(908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
(416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
(661): Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
(831): Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
(720): o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
(360): two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn’t it?
(206): only if you didn’t want to fuck up your life.
(724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I may now have to sift through my iPhone and collect/assemble a “Best of”/”Top 10 List” of best text convos. I love college.