“What did you expect? Coffins and dungeons and moats?” – Twilight

Twilight: I can’t say I’m a convert, but I actually enjoyed this movie. The sexual tension between Bella and Edward is constantly on the brink of exploding, making for an extremely engaging movie.

Downsides
–> heavy handed 80s music (are you KIDDING?)
–> Kristin Stewart:
a) Sounds like a man
b) is incredibly smug
–> Robert Pattinson‘s pouty lips and lusty close-ups
–> the questionable writing. eg.
“Your scent, it’s like a drug to me. Like my own personal brand of heroin.” Again…are you KIDDING?

Upsides
–> uhm, hello! Robert Pattinson!
–> Nikki Reed‘s hilarious moodiness
–> Interesting looking Alice & Jasper Cullen
–> the revelation that vampires both play baseball and climb trees with extreme fervor
–> Taylor Lautner…yum.

Best/Most Hilarious Part: Rogue vampires try to eat Bella during a Cullen family baseball game. The Cullen’s are none too pleased. Edi Gathegi (Laurent) says: “I can see the game is over.”

Apologies for reviewing a PG-13 movie like an NC-17 pay per view special, but Twilight was so overloaded with sexual innuendo, I almost felt dirty watching it (Note: I am not a prude). Even though I know from interviews that the series author Stephenie Meyer implemented a strict no sex til marriage rule for Bella and Edward, I was still waiting for them to bone the entire film. Fail. I guess I’ll have to be patient and check out the next installments. Twilight Saga: New Moon hits theaters November 20th.

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One Response to “What did you expect? Coffins and dungeons and moats?” – Twilight

  1. […] I am here to learn -We are here to get more clients -I am here to learn about brand management. “What did you expect? Coffins and dungeons and moats?” – Twilight – blackoutisthenewpink.wordpress.com 08/14/2009 Twilight: I can’t say I’m a convert, but I […]

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