Exploring the Twitterverse this weekend, I discovered a wealth of hilarious Twatters. I’m not big into Follow Friday or the other regular trending topics (although Music Monday is sometimes worthwhile), but I’m constantly looking for amusing people to follow. The Twitnomenon hasn’t fully caught on at UVA (re: at all), so looking outside of this limited network has been essential. [Also essential: affixing twit/tweet onto as many unrelated words as possible. Post rating so far: 2.] Here are some of the best of the best people on Twitter that you probably aren’t following.
@badbanana: Hugh Hefner is getting a divorce? Well, there goes his conservative Catholic fan base.
@mj_romano:Fraternities are the second highest risk for an insurance company. What’s #1 you may ask? Nuclear waste facilities.
@dutybarbie: I think that they should put pictures of missing transvestites on cartons of Half and Half.
@TheFatJew: I ran out of the fat girl’s apartment im in a taxi in my boxers holding a box of pretzels and a 10 dollar bill this night is fucking amazing.
@TFLN: (773): Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note. (773): You spelled “worthless” wrong.
@DrBadhands: Anyone want to go eat pancakes with me? Seriously. Nothing weird, nothing perverted or gross. Just pancakes. And anal.
@PBones: Just once I’d like to see an honest beer ad: “Please drink the maximum non-lethal quantity. Daily.”
@One_Line: Swine flu won’t really hit home with me until Magic Johnson gets it.
@awryone: Teaching my daughter about the birds and the bees. Specifically, that most bees will expect handjobs after the movie.
@theduty: i try to use ‘penis’ as my password for everything online…but it just keeps telling me “sorry, it’s not long enough.” hmpf. …words out.
@shoesonwrong: Every time I hear Sarah Palin attempt full sentences, I feel she should be living in a state-funded home other than the governor’s mansion.