“I am going to be the biggest Austrian celebrity since Hitler.”

July 16, 2009

Let me save you $10 and a week full of cockmares; Bruno was, bar none, the most uncomfortable and ridiculous movie I have ever seen. I couldn’t fully enjoy it because it was so acutely awkward. I spent the majority of the movie with my scarf over my eyes wishing with every inch of my body that I had instead gone to see Harry Potter 6. The combination of penis overload, bondage costumes, mano a mano dildo fights and gay adoption with Middle America, Middle Eastern politics, ultimate fighting and the marines proved deadly for me. As my father so eloquently put it, Bruno makes Borat look like a family friendly Disney film.

Although the majority of the highlights were in the previews, Bruno did contain a few other gems. Most notably:

His baby OJ (allegedly, a “dick magnet”)
His Ode to Middle Eastern leaders
Buzzword: Carbicide


“Vasup?! It’s me, Bruno!”

July 9, 2009

Bruno’s appearance on The Today Show with Matt Lauer was uproariously funny. Expect a huge release for the R-rated comedy/mockumentary when it hits theaters tomorrow.

“Vhy do artists do anything? Vhy did Louis Armstrong walk on the moon? Vhy did Leonardo Di Caprio paint the Mona Lisa?”

“You know what the trouble with real life is? There’s no danger music.”

July 1, 2009

Independence Day: So many movies to see, so little time! Here are my picks for this month.

Public Enemies July 1st, 2009

Bruno July 10th, 2009

The Ugly Truth July 24th, 2009

Orphan July 24th, 2009

Funny People July 31st, 2009

“Which one are you Donnie?” “I ain’t any one of them.” “That is such a Samantha thing to say.”

June 16, 2009

Bruno debuts July 10th, and it promises to be a solid follow up to Borat: vulgar, shocking, and f*cking hilarious. Sacha Baron Cohen has begun to make his nontraditional media rounds, and I see it paying off. Between his MTV Movie Awards appearance and his GQ cover, I’d say he has a (naked) leg up on the competition. Aniston, eat your heart out.