“My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain.”

November 19, 2009

Surely I am not the only one who has fallen victim of volatile fall weather. You leave your apartment in Uggs and two Northfaces replete with scarves, mittens, and other winter wonderland paraphernalia. Your en route to class and it’s pleasantly brisk out, but within 5 minutes, sweat is pouring out of inappropriate places and your long underwear is making you feel more than slightly claustrophobic. You look like a dick because everyone else on grounds is wearing, relatively speaking, fucking beach wear. As you peel off your damp layers in Chem lab, you think to yourself, “fucking weatherman,” because you don’t want to admit your own stupidity, and your American, so you point fingers.

Well my friends, I have a solution.

Sort of.

Despite technology that allows scientists to clone chihuahuas and blow up the moon, an extensive iPhone app store, and time travel (ok, I can’t prove that one just yet), we can’t seem to find a competent meteorologist who can really tell us what the weather is going to be like. The 70% chance of precipitation thing is bogus and a total crapshoot; even if I brought my umbrella with me everytime it was supposed to rain, I would get rained on 70% of the time. I have by now accepted that the weather portion of most nightly newscasts should be viewed purely for entertainment. As sure as I am that as we speak climatologists are preparing to launch balloon boy on another mission to forecasting accuracy, we need a short term solution. Entrez-vous, The Fucking Weather & Is It Raining. Neither site will really prevent those FML moments of atmospheric awkwardness (re: summer dress in Ottawa, in December), but they should alleviate some of the hatred aimed at our friendly local weathermen with an entertaining approach to weather tracking.