“Horror films seem to always take place at night and the weather’s always bad.” – Friday the 13th

August 15, 2009

Friday the 13th Essential Stats

Runtime: 97 minutes
Hot Cast Members: Jared Padalecki (of Supernatural fame) & Travis Van Winkle (the douche in Accepted…and this movie)
Death Count: 13
Boob Count: 6

…for the record, all of the boobs in the Playboy Mansion couldn’t have saved this movie. Even Padalecki, professional hottie and all around good guy, couldn’t save this movie. To say it was formulaic is a rash understatement. Girls, if you take your top off, you’re going to get killed. Guys, stop initiating trips to strange/deserted places with your best friends for a good time. Everyone, if the lights go out, the phones die, and the cop winds up dead, splitting up to investigate is a bad idea. Curiosity killed the cat…and the main characters in Jeepers Creepers, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Final Destination, The Ring, and their sequels.


I’m writing it off as another failed teen slasher flick.