November 16, 2009
I know a girl who broke up with a guy and she told him she wanted to “still be friends.” He said, “No thanks.” She wondered why he couldn’t fall back to being just friends after they had a romantic relationship. I came up with the “McDonalds Analogy” to try and explain it in a simple way that would help all women understand this tough question.
Imagine if you went to McDonalds a lot and ordered a Big Mac Combo meal. A Big Mac, Large Fries and a Coke. You really like this meal. One day, you pull up to the drivethrough and order the Big Mac Combo meal and the girl tells you, “I’m sorry – you can have the Big Mac and the Coke, but you can’t get fries with that anymore.” You think about this for a moment, and sure – the Big Mac is the centerpiece of the meal, but McDonalds has some really good fries and you like their fries with your meal. So you say, “I’ve been able to get fries with that before, why can’t I have fries with my Big Mac combo anymore?” The girls says, “Well, I just think it is better if you only have the Big Mac and the Coke from here on out.”
At this point, a lot of guys are going to go to Wendy’s or BK and see if they can get fries with their combo at that drivethrough window. But there are some guys who REALLY like McDonalds Big Macs and they might think, “If I keep coming here and ordering the Big Mac and Coke, maybe she’ll change her mind and give me some fries with that later.” So they will keep on getting the combo without the fries until the deal breaker happens: One day that guy is going to order the Big Mac and Coke and then he’s going to pull up a little bit to pay, and someone else is going to pull up to the drivethrough speaker and order the “Big Mac Combo” and he is going to hear the girl say, “Would you like fries with that?”
That’s why guys don’t like to be friends with a girl who breaks up with them.
October 7, 2009
For those among us that aren’t aware that Outback Steakhouse’s Blooming Onion has a Wikipedia article devoted to all 2,210 calories of it, we’re doomed to place bad orders at [fast food] restaurants. Or are we? The New York Times published an article yesterday claiming that calorie postings do not change habits. Providing calorie information for fast food items has been mandated in New York City since 2008 in an effort to inform and educate customers and hopefully compel them to make wiser choices at the check out counter. As a whole, American eateries have done a pretty crappy job of divulging just how many grams of fat are in that burger/nacho plate/”salad” dressing, but the jury is out on whether knowing will make us any less likely to indulge. The average person walking into a KFC, McDonalds, or even Cheesecake Factory cannot possibly believe that what they order will be flattering for their waistline. Fast food restaurants are like a cheap date; you get what you pay for. Sure, the fruit cup alternative to the mac daddy of burgers is somewhere on the menu, but why pay for a sub par salad when you could get 20 Chicken McNuggets for the same price?! One dietitian interviewed said, “Just by contemplating healthier choices, they feel like they could have done it and maybe they will the next time.” I apologize, but I must declare shenanigans. For those subsisting on minimum wage, concern for cost comes before health. For those who just enjoy fast food, health has no bearing until the doctor diagnoses with warning signs. We all beat ourselves up over the occasional caloric debacle, but for the most part can face facts: the passage through the Taco Bell drive thru for fourth meal was meant for poor decision making; the 990 calorie Volcano Nachos were an active choice over eating soy beans and chewing on ice cubes. For those on Kanye’s Workout Plan, Jerry’s Subway, Atkins, South Beach, or whatever flavor of the week diet, calorie posting hopefully encourages good decision making, but for everyone else, old habits die hard.
Want more info on the worst foods in America? Check out Men’s Health Eat This, Not That. It will thoroughly gross you out and make you question every Cheesecake Factory salad you’ve ever laid eyes on, but gives awesome alternatives to common grocery store/fast food blunders. It even gives you info on which sushi roll you should be eating. Or visit This is Why You’re Fat to figure out what you really want to eat for dinner.
The chief excitement in a woman’s life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.