“I am going to be the biggest Austrian celebrity since Hitler.”

July 16, 2009

Let me save you $10 and a week full of cockmares; Bruno was, bar none, the most uncomfortable and ridiculous movie I have ever seen. I couldn’t fully enjoy it because it was so acutely awkward. I spent the majority of the movie with my scarf over my eyes wishing with every inch of my body that I had instead gone to see Harry Potter 6. The combination of penis overload, bondage costumes, mano a mano dildo fights and gay adoption with Middle America, Middle Eastern politics, ultimate fighting and the marines proved deadly for me. As my father so eloquently put it, Bruno makes Borat look like a family friendly Disney film.

Although the majority of the highlights were in the previews, Bruno did contain a few other gems. Most notably:

His baby OJ (allegedly, a “dick magnet”)
His Ode to Middle Eastern leaders
Buzzword: Carbicide